Category : News
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Here's a rarity!
Not so much the temperatures (although they are lovely!) - more the fact that for the first time in I don't know how many weeks (months!) there is NO rain forecast!! Our local weather for the next few days looks very warm and toasty :)
Well, today I went to the opticians - not a huge change in my eyesight so I'm putting the headaches down to stress or whatever. I feel fine in myself so, given the opticians report, I don't think there's much wrong. I did order a new pair of glasses though, just for the sake of it, *smiles* slightly more modern ones than I've got now and (amazingly!) quite cool and sexy ;)
Also, today, we went (finally!) and paid the registration fees for April's nursery place. I still have massive misgivings about this whole thing and I know, mostly, that she's going purely for selfish reasons on my part (ie I need some time alone!). I'm pretty sure that she will be ok there but it's still an "educational institution" and, to be honest, I'm not overly fond of them. Anyway, I'm going to break the whole thing down into chunks. First, we'll get to half term and, if she's still ok, then we'll leave her there until the summer holiday. At that point we'll make the "big" decision as to whether to send her back in the autumn or not. Obviously, if she gets there and is monumentally unhappy then she'll be out straight away!
I'm trying to look at this from a positive viewpoint:
- I'll get time alone - once a week (did I mention that?!)
- Assuming that we may well home ed her, it will give me time to plan stuff for the start of her compulsory education (she's due to start reception September 2009 - gulp!)
- It will give me some much needed time alone with just Rosie so that we can work on some stuff she needs help with.
- If we don't home ed her, it will give her (and me!) time to adjust to the new routine.
Right, I'm off now. It's been a busy day and we're winding down for the kids bedtimes and then Tim and I can relax with dinner.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I'm honoured
"The "Arte y Pico" award was created/made to be given out to bloggers who inspire others with their creative energy and their works, whether it be writing, artwork or more. When one receives this award it is considered a "special honor". Once you receive this award, you are to pass it on to at least 5 others. For more info on this wonderful award, where it originated, please visit Arte y pico at their blog. ( I couldn't think of a better way to describe this award so I just used what Nats wrote which originally came from Auntiebunny )"
I am the very proud recipient of this award, given to me by my wonderful friend Natalie. Looking at some of the other people that have been awarded it, I feel totally unworthy (especially given that this reincarnation of my blog is so very, very new) but amazingly happy!
I'm considering who to pass it on to ... there are so many that I think deserve it so I'm giving it some serious thought.
PS - thanks Nats for my pressie which arrived in the post this morning - It was incredibly thoughtful of you :)
EDITED:
I've given this thought .... here are my 5 choices. Some of the writers of these blogs might not even know I exist but I wanted to send the award to them because they have all, at some point, totally inspired me and/or amazed me with their creativity :)
Stephanie - such a wonderful, informative blog and such a wonderful, warm human being.
Caroline - fab lapbooks she makes with her kids :)
Maricar - WONDERFUL homemaking hints and tips - I linked to her waaaay back on my old blog and still adore her site now.
Amanda - gorgeous crafts, gorgeous blog
Merry - 4 kids, own business, fab blog - I'm not sure how she does it frankly ;) Inspired me from the time I started home edding.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Catching Up
I've decided to "fill in" the week I was not blogging. I took the break because I so badly needed it on many levels, I also wanted to put the wheels of a better life in motion.
Very obviously, I haven't changed radically in the space of one week but I've made huge strides in fact, I think we all have as a family. Things have got very pleasant indeed just through a few simple changes and I'm feeling better - although getting to even this point hasn't been easy.
Firstly, we made a new house rule - that the television and the computer are only allowed on at set times a day and then only for a set amount of time. I thought the kids would be up in arms about this one but, in fact, I've been pleasantly surprised they have taken to it so well that they now complain about the noise if one of them goes on! The computer, for example, goes on early in the morning for half an hour so that I can check/answer emails, blog if I want to or "browse" and then it goes off. After lunch, it goes on for another half an hour, this time mainly so that Rosie can have a play on Club Penguin or Active Worlds, do some online learning (maths mainly) or just look stuff up. Then, generally, the computer doesn't go on again to the evening. Today has been a little different because I've been catching up on the blog (I've got a thousand blog posts buzzing around my brain!) but, on the whole, this is how things are now.
The result of this shutting off of technology is that we've been "getting real" (as I call it). We've been drawing and painting (you can see some of my efforts on my relaxation page) with some lovely new art materials we got, cooking lots, playing with Moon Sand (weird stuff), putting on mini-plays, playing in the garden, doing loads of notebooking (our much more relaxed, unstructured home ed method), studying nature, doing yoga (even April!) and reading. We have also been enjoying a kind of peace in our home that we've never experienced before - it's amazingly wonderful.
On a personal level, all this peace has given me time to think - sometimes painful thinking - and I've experienced the whole range of emotions in a short period of time. I've had several days in a row where I was utterly at peace and going over "things" in my mind and putting them to rest and then, suddenly, the floodgates opened and all this terrible pain came out and I'd find myself sobbing and yelling. Of course, the recipient of all this was Tim ... thank god for him being solid and unflappable! He's put up with me clinging to him and crying one minute and shoving him away and telling him to get lost (although not so politely) the next and he just remains calm ........ I guess he realises, in a way, that I have to go through this in order to lay the ghosts to rest.
Now, in a relatively short period of time, I genuinelly feel that I'm getting somewhere. A couple of things have happened over the last few days that would, not all that long ago, have thrown me into misery and disarray. Now, although I wobbled, I didn't fall over (remember the Weebles? *smiles*) Oooooh! I've got a long way to go ... a long, long way but changes have been made.
Before, every time something bad happened I would completely overreact, take everything personally and get very down because every time something bad happened, horrible memories from the past would come back to haunt me (hence my reaction). I felt I was stuck with it and this was how life was going to be forever ... I was being fatalistic in other words but this is the wrong way to handle former abuse. Then someone told me that the best way to deal with it was, basically, to not think about it and not let it rule your life. I think this is the wrong way to handle it too because it's almost like going into denial. Sure, everything is fine now but one day it will all come back and bite you on the butt - probably at the worse time.
So, like I've had to recently, you do have to face the demons of your past and you can't go on excusing crappy behaviour away for the rest of your life because of them and also you can't just "ignore them".
I chose to simplify and quiet my life so that I could almost hear what was going on in my brain. I chose to relax with yoga and painting and drawing. In doing this I kind of opened myself up to some kind of healing but it hasn't been easy or always pleasant and I've got miles to go but at least I'm doing it. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
One day, hopefully in the not too distant future, I will be able to leave the past where it really belongs ... in the past.
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