Sarah's Blog

I really must be getting old!

Aaaah! Sunday! At one point my most hated day of the week (school on Monday!) now .... I'm starting to feel a strange contentment when Sunday rolls round. We've got the radio on (Nicholas Parsons doing "Just a Minute"), the gentle hum of the washing machine, April quietly playing Starfox Adventures on the Gamecube (a game I love as much for it's atmospheric music as much as anything), slightly steamed up windows because it's a cold day and the smell of Sunday lunch cooking (roast beef and yorkshire puddings). It's all "nice" and reassuring and gentle and homely and ..... right.

I need reassuring and gentle at this moment in time. Had to make an excruciatingly difficult decision about a member of my family (my brother) today that filled me with sadness. Not a decision I really wanted to make but one I felt I HAD to make based on circumstances and what is best for me and Tim and the kids. I found out something yesterday that made me feel like I was being sucked back into a whirlpool that, a few years ago, I climbed out of and felt relief. Yesterday I felt panicky and stressed again ....... the decision had to be made, however painful.

Tim and I are a lot different from pretty much everyone else in my family (although, thankfully, not HIS family). We're terribly old fashioned really - keeping to "traditional" routines, joining in with our kids and getting madly excited at Christmas and birthdays, bringing them up on a diet of "family traditions" (like me going out at the crack of dawn EVERY Easter to hide eggs for them to look for!) We try (go out of our way) to bring up our kids in a way which is peaceful ..... childhood is short, fleeting, it shouldn't be anything less than idyllic (or at least as much as we can make it) - the kids deserve nothing less. More than that though, LIFE is fleeting - I want MY life and Tim's life and the kids life to be HAPPY and relaxed. It can't be that way if things are stressing us and, so, hard decisions have to be made.

We've got our "way" of doing things and we're happy with that ... Nicholas Parsons and steamed up windows on a cold day and roast beef and all that ............. today is a little sad but that shall pass ....